I wasn’t able to explain, understand, or even relate to my daughter’s endless amounts of energy for the first eight years of her life. Not until I learned about Human Design.

Teagan is a classic energizer bunny who does cartwheels around the house and stays up late doodling or making sticker books long after her 3-hour gymnastics practices several nights a week.

She’s 10 now, and we totally get each other. But the past decade has been a dizzying whirlwind of swim lessons, ice skating, chess club, talent show performances, playdates, parties, and tons of gymnastics. Things that, as a child myself, I would’ve dreaded and avoided like the plague. But I’m a Manifestor. We do our own thing.

As an infant and a toddler, Teagan wiped me out. All babies will do that, of course. But she has a special knack for expressing her energy, let’s say, in a way that, as a new mom, left me feeling utterly helpless, totally inadequate, and thoroughly exhausted.

I thought there was something wrong with me. But worse, I worried there might be something wrong with her.

Thankfully, the only thing that was wrong was that I didn’t understand her well enough–yet.

I didn’t have a grasp on what makes her tick or how her energy moves.

And I certainly couldn’t understand what I was “supposed to” give her to soothe or satisfy her constantly-in-motion needs.

What I didn’t know then, but what — thank heavens — I know now, is that she’s a Human Design Generator. That’s it.

Like a good Generator, Teagan is a dazzling, gorgeous, sparkly, magnetic and breathtaking human who leaves me gobsmacked on the daily. To watch her bring things to life is nothing short of magical.

What’s a Generator?

Generators are the doers, the bring-things-to-life people, the “I’ll do it!” crowd, the “Yes We Can” folks. They shine. They’re warm. They’re open. You notice their presence because these are the people you hear about who’re always lighting up rooms.

Oprah, Madonna, Einstein, Mozart, Elvis…

You get the gist.

They’re so dang magnetic, and they have such a captivating presence, they only need one name.

Why is that?

Because Generators’ energy aura is “open and enveloping,” according to Human Design teachings. That means the rest of us are naturally drawn to them. They are sending out big, warm energetic hugs pretty much everywhere they go. And we freaking love them for that.

Without Generators, the rest of us would just be sitting around, staring at each other, talking about all our great ideas and sharing advice about what would make this or that better.

There would be some very spotty and erratic inspired action taking place. There’d hardly ever be any coming-to-fruition of things. Few results. Very little to show for all the talk about our creative urges.

That’s because we need Generators to carry us over the finish line. They have regenerative lifeblood energy for getting stuff done!

Other “Non-Energy” Types

Manifestors get inspired with big surges of creative (and sometimes frenetic) energy, sure. We initiate the heck out of things. Until we crash, that is. Follow through and execution is decidedly not our bag.

Likewise, Projectors, while they have the breathtaking and uncanny ability to focus on a skill and masterfully hone the heck out of that craft, need lots of naps, too. Sure, they’re waiting around for someone to notice them already for their brilliant ways. But we’d be better off looking to them for their oversight strengths, as the people who point and nod at the tools and lumber that needs to be put together; not so much as the day laborers who’re actually gonna build the house.

Meanwhile, Reflectors are so busy soaking in and amplifying everyone else’s thoughts, feelings and energy–and so magically gifted at showing us what we really need to be working on–that they hardly have the bandwidth to bring a project into its full glory. They’re barely meeting deadlines at work, okay? They’re taking on everyone else’s illnesses, alright? Let them rest!

What Manifestors, Projectors and Reflectors have in common, and what sets them apart from Generator types (Manifesting Generators, we’re talking to you here, too), is that they don’t have a defined Sacral center, but Generators do.

The Defined Sacral

Generators’ defined Sacral center pumps lifeblood into all that they do. It pulls them toward that which makes them feel excited, lit up, jazzed about life.

Their Sacral is built to respond to that exciting thing. It literally lights up inside their bodies, signaling to them when something is is a “Heck yeah!” or a “Nope, not a chance, dude.”

What’s more, the Generator Sacral gets even more energy, the more they do thing(s) they love. Their energy, in its highest expression, brings them deep satisfaction. And when Generators are satisfied doing the things they love, they can do more of it.

And more of it. And more of it…

Which is why we need them. To bring our genius, inspired, creative ideas into actual reality.

That’s their energetic gift. They do.

And if we take advantage of Generators, by either forcing them to do what they dread, or relying too heavily on them to do stuff for us because we know they can and will, then we cause them to burn out. And that sucks, and that’s not fair.

Likewise, if we criticize or discipline our Generator kids for doing-doing-doing, as they are designed to do, then we chisel away at their gift. We make dull their once-brilliant sheen. We fill them with shame and self-doubt. We cause them to be people-pleasers who say yes to things that may compromise their inner knowing. We teach them not to trust their in-the-now response. And that is potentially dangerous.

Generators are the most likely to experience burnout or adrenal fatigue. That’s because they learned, as children, that to receive approval or love, they need to:

1. stop doing the things that bring them joy, because those actions are wrong,
2. force themselves to be still because their abundant energy is shameful and disruptive, and
3. push themselves through the end of a task or a project that actually brings them dread.

Sometimes, of course, we need the kids to empty the dishwasher or scrub the toilet. They’ve got to learn their chores, right?

But forcing them to stick with violin lessons that they actually hate, or making them go to that party at the neighbor’s house over the weekend, just because we think it’s best, could certainly backfire.

That’s because we won’t necessarily see that it’s causing them frustration, sadness, despair. They will learn to just show up and comply. Because they can.

We take for granted sometimes that Generators are so good at being open and sparkly. That they have the capacity to do stuff after we’ve tired.

So, when I give Teagan the grace and space to do back flips in the house, I do so because I want her to be proud of her energy. To use it in healthy ways. To use it up so she sleeps at night!

When she’s lit up, she’s only generating more lifeblood to surge forth from her optimistic little body. And that little body creates freakin’ dynamite.

Sometimes It’s Energetics; NOT a Disorder

But for the first three years of her life, Teagan child never slept — ever. My husband and I hired a sleep consultant to coach us about how to put her to bed, so that at least we could rest.

But it hardly ever worked.

I was a court stenographer back then, working full-time at the county courthouse performing very emotionally and physically-demanding work (hello, rape and murder cases, gah). As a Manifestor, I have no idea how I showed up every day as a cog in the wheel of an oppressive system.

(During my stressed-out tenure as a court reporter, I landed in the epilepsy ward at the hospital for a week, having my brainwaves monitored after experiencing psychogenic seizures. Thankfully we discovered they were merely stress responses due to unresolved trauma, not epilepsy. But that’s a post for another day. Regardless, the stress and exhaustion were exactly why I left that career.

But somehow I managed to pull it off on 4-ish hours of interrupted sleep per night for the last three and a half years I worked there (I gave birth to Teagan’s brother Leo when she was just 17 months. Hurray for Irish twins!)

I remember the nights I’d get 6 hours of shut-eye, patched together between 11p and 6a, and how glorious it felt to have gotten “good sleep

As an infant, Teagan would startle at the 40-minute mark of every sleep cycle, which we were told had something to do with an interruption in the vagal brake, a region in the brain that’s involved with reacting to social stimulation. I think she was always stimulated–by every face, breath, voice, sound, motion or evidence of any presence anywhere, even the cat’s; even slightest gust of wind.

God forbid my hip would creak upon exiting her room after finally setting her in the crib. The wake-cry cycle would begin all over again.

My husband and I were awakened constantly through the night–if we ever got to sleep in the first place. Daytime naps were jokes other parents only teased us about. Teagan never napped. Not even with those sun-blocking curtains and white noise machines in effect.

She was the kid who flailed constantly and escaped from her swaddle. She showed early signs of standing and jumping–at three weeks old. She jumped out of her crib and eventually started having night terrors; her little, freakishly strong body writhing in dreamed fear. Then came the sleepwalking.

She was called “spirited” by doctors for her non-stop movement. She had an exaggerated Moro Reflex that landed her in the ER at eight months old. Her daycare teachers loved her to pieces (because who doesn’t?) and somehow got her to nap a few times over the course of her 3-year stay there. But she was always, and still is, an energizer bunny who never stops.

She’s 10 now, and crushing ‘tweendom. She’s on competitive gymnastics team, rocking her kips and back tucks. She plays the ukelele. She makes jewelry and is great at drawing and puzzles. She’s in a hip-hop dance class and loving it. She wants to run track in the fall, too. And join chorus…

And nowadays, unlike the exhaustion-infused days of yonder, we have a beautiful and lively relationship. She even tucks me in at night sometimes, instead of the other way ’round!

I credit that, at least in part, to my ability to see her for who she really is, finally. To learning her Human Design.

I’m a heck of a mom to begin with, don’t get me wrong. But learning about Teagan being a Generator? Total game changer.

I know now how to give her–to the best of my ability and within the confines of some basic rules–what’s best for her; not what I believe would be best for me, or what would be easiest for the family, or what would be most convenient for the ease of the day’s schedule, or what other people say you should/should not let your kids do…

Forget all that. Kids are unique. They need different things. And Human Design can guide us to understanding what those needs are.

I can now meet my daughter where she is, celebrate her beautiful gifts, and support her right to thrive in the way she came to this planet to do.

The best part? She knows about Human Design, too, so she totally gets me for my Manifestor ways. It’s a beautiful thing! We honor each other’s needs: mine, for taking naps; hers, for doing back flips around the house.

If you’re interested in learning how to support your unique and magical child through Human Design, or you want practical guidance on how to guide them through life in a way that meets their unique needs, book a call with me and order their HD Owner’s Manual!